Red

There's an old poem by Neruda that I've always been captivated by, and one of the lines in it has stuck with me ever since the first time I read it. It says, "love is so short, forgetting is so long." It's a line I've related to in my saddest moments, when I needed to know someone else had felt that exact same way. And when we're trying to move on, the moments we always go back to aren't' the mundane ones. They are the moments you saw sparks that weren't really there, felt starts aligning without having any proof, say your future before it happened, and then saw it slip away without any warning. These are moments of newfound hope, extreme joy, intense passion, wishful thinking, and in some cases, the unthinkable letdown. And in my mind, every one of these memories looks the same to me. I see all of these moments in bright, burning, red.

My experiences in love have taught me difficult lessons, especially my experiences with crazy love. The red relationships. The ones that went from zero to a hundred miles per hour and then hit a wall and exploded. And it was awful. And ridiculous. And desperate. And thrilling. And when the dust settled, it was something I'd never take back. Because there is something to be said for being young and needing someone so badly, you jump in head first without looking. And there's something to be learned from waiting all day for a train that's never coming. And there's something to be proud about moving on and realizing that real love shines golden like starlight, and doesn't fade or spontaneously combust.


The above caption is the reason why I love Taylor Swift so much. I know it's cliche to be a girl that loves her, but sometimes she really says how I'm feeling when I'm unable to say the words. I have yet to be in a healthy relationship and think that any guy I get involved with is a "red" guy. I fall hard, fast, and I'm almost always disappointed. Lucky for me I have a fast bounce back, but I feel myself going back anytime the past comes knocking. Recently I feel like I'm being tested, and I'm slowly moving towards being someone I really dont like. The kind of girl that always made me cry. I need to get it together and push past. I know my prince charming is somewhere in this crazy, red world.

Anchors Away,

Samantha