Parents

I can't ever remember a time when my parents were together. Growing up was hard because I lived an hour from my dad. Sure, I saw him on weekends but it wasn't the same. My dad and I have always been close. He's the one who I can always count on no matter heat situation I'm in. But that all changed Sunday... 

My dad told me that at 54 years old, he may try to have a new kid with his girlfriend of ten years. Why now? It's hard to say. They have even considered adopting. To say I took it hard would be an understatement. It's now Tuesday and I still randomly break out in tears. He was supposed to be MY dad, that I never had to share. And let's go ahead and start out with all the reasons it's a selfish choice. 1 the poor future child is never going to have their dad at their wedding because he will likely be dead 2 my dad is essentially starting all over again and shouldn't be expected by his girlfriend to do so 3 I'm trying to get married and start a family and my kids will never have a normal relationship with their grandpa nor will he be available yo plan and participate in my wedding 

I know that things don't always go your way and there are tons of family dynamics out there but this isn't how I pictured my life. I pictured my dad being excited to plan a wedding & wanting to spend his weekends with his grand kids. I pictured my dad having a relaxing retirement where I was able to see him whenever I want. And then this happened. I can't process it & I refuse to try. The good thing is I've got pretty good st shutting people out over the years. I can't see our relationship ever being the same again. 

Anchors away, 

Samantha h

25

I know, I know, I'm not 25 until may. But with the big 2-5 looming closer I can't help but feel a whole mix of emotions. I feel as though everything is changing and I'm caught in the middle. Let me just break down all the reasons 25 is sending me into a panic. 

Suddenly, all of my friends are either on the road to get married or super single. One by one another couple is getting engaged and I really can't help but feel the pressure. I mean I'm 25, at this age my mom was busy chasing after a two year old. I know I shouldn't feel pressure because my boyfriend is quit frankly, excellent, but I feel so behind. 

The weekends. Before, the weekends were an excuse to consume substantial amounts of alcohol and hang out with friends, but now, that's pretty much the opposite of what I like doing. My friends & I have transitioned to group hang outs (cause everyone is a  couple), and surprise surprise.... I love it. We drink, socialize, actually enjoy each other's company. When I get invited to bars I actually try to find reasons for me not to have to go. I would much rather attend a group hang out at bowling than g to a bar with a bunch of single fools who are drinking until they puke. Or better yet, watch movies and drink beer, at home. Sigh, see what I'm saying, old. 

Friends. I'm happy to say that I've found my people. Ones who I can count on, don't have to talk yo everyday, who get me, and who I actually put an effort in to maintain a relationship with. And while I'm proud of finding my people, the people around me have not done the same. Oh, how frustrating it is to watch my friends get kicked around people they consider "friends". 

And to top it off let's not even go into my weight issues. I was spoiled in young adult and had a tiny body, with no effort, as a result I grew lazy. I've gained weight and become self conscious about things I've never had to worry about. Talk about frustrating. But I'm going 4 months strong on working out and finally starting to see some results, and it honestly feels great. 

I guess I should just get used to all of the changes that are going on because they aren't likely to subside anytime soon. 

Anchors away, 

Samantha 

2013 at a glance

2013 has been BEYOND good to me. I've done so many amazing things this year that it only seems appropriate to do a flash back of 2013 in pictures.. 

{Kicked off my sports filled year @ Tigers opening day.}

                                      

{Spent my 24th birthday at a Tiger's game with my boyfriend & some of my closest friends}

{Best friend shenningans}

{Celebrated St. Patty's day hard..}

{Wait, so my little sister graduated & is at Michigan State?! WEIRD}

{Had a college roommate reunion}

{Got to be there while my best friends got engaged}

{Went to Chicago, with two of my best friends}

{And saw our favorite band}

{First cousin on my dads side got married}

{And then football season was here}

{We even tailgated Monday night football in 14 degree temps}

{Participated in a great ugly sweater party}

{Christmas Eve}

{sister}

{spent NYE with some favorites}

{Most importantly celebrated NYE with my love}

XOXO, 

S