New job; Day 2

So this week I started working at a Private Agency as a Foster Care Case Worker...

It has become apparent that almost 80% of what I learned while in college has already left my brain. I'm in training for 9 weeks and I'm just hoping & praying that everything comes back to me in that time, haha. I'm just having trouble recalling specific therapy types & structural things. All in all though I'm very excited to have a job in the social work field vs. child care.

Add in the holidays to my new job and let's just say I'm BEYOND stressed. Now, if you know me you know that the holidays just arent my thing. It's not that I'm the "grinch" or anything buttttt coming from a divorced family, the holidays for me meant, splitting up to three different families every year. While some may thing this is great, keep in mind this means limited time with each family and one parent was always unhappy with the situation. WELL, at 24 not much has changed. I'm expected at all three families houses for Thanksgiving & Christmas and one parent is always mad with how I split the time. Is it possible that I can just skip to January and ignore all things holidays? & Having a boyfriend this year is putting a kink is my normally easy holiday shopping.

WHEW.

anyways..

Anchors Away,

Samantha

Take 2

When I started this blog I PROMISED myself that I wouldn't forget about it.. but here we are almost 8 months later and I've only posted a handful of times. In my defense, I've had a busy 8 months. I've quit my job, nannied, went back to my old job, and just recently put my two weeks in again. I've started a serious relationship with someone who gets me like I never thought possible. I've weeded out "friends" and kept relationships with those that matter. I've begun "working out" only to quit after a few weeks & then started again. I've watched my baby sister graduate & become independent in ways I never imagined. These have been a crazy few months but I'm in an amazing place and can't wait to use my blog as a place to document my successes & failures in my new position, keep memories of my relationships, and write about the things that I love.

Here's to round 2 of the blog!

Anchors Away,

Samantha

Figuring it out

I'm one of those girls that spends a lot of time trying to figure things out. Trying to figure out what outfit to wear. If a boy likes me back. What that comment the girl at work said to you, meant. But recently I've been spending less and less time trying to figure things out. Sometimes things just happen. You can't be prepared and you can't plan for them. That friend who's mad that you don't want to follow along with her plans on a Saturday? done with it. The boy that keeps you guessing but never gives you the answers you need? moving on. I've been choosing to spend less and less time with people who are selfish towards me. If you don't want to have a functioning two way relationship, then I'm done giving it my time. This may sound selfish, or harsh but sometimes growing up means you need to cut people out.

Sometimes god give's you people who are basically, an extension of yourself. Who get you without having to explain every detail. Who have experienced things that almost mirror your own experiences. They make you feel like they truly care about you. THESE are the people you hold onto. Whether its a new friend, a cousin, these are the people you devote your time to. The ones that you should take the time to figure out.

Anchors away,

Samantha

Sometimes I think it's a good idea to break down my walls & then certain things happen that have me building them back up. The pain my family is going through right now dealing with the death of my cousins boyfriend is almost more than I can bare. I feel guilty for only meeting him once, that although I accept their homosexual relationship, I didn't free up more time to spend with them both. In this day everyone is so selfish. So worried about themselves & what plans that they have. Over the last year that's all I've done. Busied myself to get through, bounce from friend to friend and I realize how senseless it all is. I grew up with my cousin but couldn't find the time to drive to Toledo with him? Shame on me, I wasn't raised that way. My heart is truly hurting for how I've acted in the last year. Sometimes time is all you have, and thats usually something I don't share with many people.



Anchors away,

Samantha