The past three weeks have been a whirlwind. I'm officially moved in and feel at home in the new house. I've also started hanging out with old friends. It's a little overwhelming because in the prime of our friendship I was in a really dark place in life. I was coping with graduation, getting broken up with & not having a place to call home. My weekend focus was on getting drunk and nothing else. Needless to say, they saw me at my worst but I really am thankful that now that I'm a normal person again, they accept me. This weekend made me feel so comfortable and happy.
Along with old friends comes old feelings. When my last relationship ended in June I was hardly devastated. I was dealing with lost friendships and a cahoot of other issues in my life, so my relationship was just put on the back burner. We had a less than perfect relationships filled with nights consuming too much alcohol and rolling into huge fights. There was never any reason but every weekend was the same. But as this person is back in my life I can't help but let myself have the same feelings. It's super intimidating because who knows what he thinks of me.. I can imagine how happy he was to get rid of my crazy self in June. But I also know that I'm a completely different person than I was six months ago. I think that I deserve to have a relationship with someone that is healthy and happy.. Does it make me such a bad person that I really want it to be with him, again? Time will only tell & to be honest, I'm not rushing anything, for once I'm fully content with where I am.
Happy Sunday y'all. It's time I fall back into Harry Potter world.
Anchors Away,
Samantha
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